Have you heard about drawing personal boundaries?
Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. An example of healthy boundaries is you can say “no” to others when you want to, but you still feel comfortable opening yourself up to have intimate and close relationships.Personal boundaries consist of:
- Physical boundaries: limits and rules set for personal space and physical touch
- Intellectual boundaries: limits and rules set for someone’s thoughts and ideas
- Emotional boundaries: limits and rules set for someone’s feelings
- Sexual boundaries: limits and rules set for the emotional, intellectual, and physical aspects of sexuality
- Material boundaries: limits and rules set for money and possessions
- Time boundaries: limits and rules set for how one uses their time
Now, let’s continue to read the three common traits of personal boundaries:
You are probably confused about your right to set limits with other people. This is totally normal. Basically, you can have a mix of different boundary types. For example, you could have healthy boundaries in a social setting, porous boundaries in a romantic relationship, or a mix of all three types. You just need to adjust them according to time and place. What is appropriate to say at work may be inappropriate to say when you are at a more casual setting with your friends.
“Personal boundaries influence your decisions making and protect you from undesirable behaviors (bullying, emotional, psychological or physical violence or abuse).”
Culture play important part in shaping different expectations when it comes to boundaries. For example, western cultures tend to keep more personal space and use less physical touch as compared to eastern cultures. So, put this into account.
What I want you to take note is drawing personal boundaries are crucial to our psychological well-being. Taking care of your mental health is part of self-care. Personal boundaries influence your decisions making and protect you from undesirable behaviors (bullying, emotional, psychological or physical violence or abuse). Learn to find balance in your personal boundaries. Ideally, it should be strong enough to protect you but also flexible enough to allow you to have healthy connections with people.
Now, if you are wondering how to set healthy boundaries, here are some tips:
- Practice a lot of self-reflection! This includes evaluate your beliefs and values. By doing so, you will learn to clearly identify your boundary and understand why you need to set boundaries
- Be straight forward when communicating your opinions, feelings, and beliefs. Try to speak in a calm and polite manner
- Adjust your boundaries for each situation and with whom you interact with
- Don’t take unpleasant situations personal. Rather, analyze it as objectively as possible
- Believe that you can say no if you want to and you don’t have to feel guilty about it
- Trust your intuition
- Be honest with your feeling!
- Treat others fairly and set up realistic expectations
Although there’s a lot more to learn about personal boundaries, this article should be enough to get yourself started to learn the basic of personal boundaries. If you can master these tips, you will be able to maintain your healthy boundaries and more importantly, stay mentally healthy!